Being an Ally: World Book Day 2023

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Apologies aren’t a magic fix and won’t solve mistakes of the past, but there are a few attributes that make for a good apology. A person who is feeling marginalized or excluded, tokenized or like an impostor may sideline themselves — by not speaking up, not contributing, not showing up. Another essay stood out to me, Dismantling Judgment by Lizzie Huxley-Jones told her invisible illness and many of the same experiences that I have had and felt like I had found a friend.

So, what makes a good ally? There are lots of guides and advice out there and one of the best I’ve seen is the Business in the Community’s anti-racism and allyship in the workplace guide. It contains simple tips like recognising the advantages of privilege, being an active bystander and being ready to be vulnerable. Being an active bystander I remember being impressed by Lisa, a white software engineer who stepped outside of her comfort zone to be an ally. When asked to name her “spirit animal” as part of a team-building exercise, Lisa spoke up. She wasn’t comfortable taking part in an exercise that appropriated Native American spiritual traditions. LGBTQIA is an acronym that collectively refers to individuals who identify as in any of the following ways:There’s an impulsive desire to fix, to be the hero of the story, to swoop in and rescue and, for some, it also comes from a place of superiority and/or a desire to be forgiven. It feeds into something called the “White Saviour Industrial Complex” – a term first coined by Harvard professor and novelist Teju Cole in 2012. “White Saviour Industrial Complex is not about justice, it’s about having a big emotional experience that validates privilege… There is much more to doing good work than ‘making a difference’. There is the principle of first do no harm. There is the idea that those who are being helped ought to be consulted over the matters that concern them,” explains Cole. We're hugely excited to have worked with our friends at World Book Day, the charity whose mission is to promote reading for pleasure, offering every child and young person the opportunity to have a book of their own. There are no easy answers, but this book helps you ask better questions. Because we're all in this together. And we all need allies. When an ally takes on the role of the Sponsor, they vocally support the work of colleagues from underrepresented groups in all contexts, but specifically in situations that will help boost those colleagues’ standing and reputations. When an ally takes on the role of the Confidant, that ally creates a safe space for members of underrepresented groups to express their fears, frustrations, and needs. Simply listening to their stories and trusting that they’re being truthful creates a protective layer of support.

It’s time for proud straight allies everywhere to speak out about how we can all help improve the lives of lesbian, gay, bi and trans people everywhere. Because we can think more clearly about stepping on someone’s literal toes than we usually do when it comes to oppression, the problems with many common responses are obvious: Today, Pride events commemorate the history of the LGBTQIA social movement and mark an opportunity for the community to come together. Celebration is a big part of it, but it’s key to remember the activism and bravery that started it all. OK, so what exactly is LGBTQIA? Listen and ask questions when someone describes an experience you haven’t had. Don’t jump in with your own personal stories.The Guide to Being a Straight Ally: Learn more about what it means to be a straight ally and get some great tips and tools to being more supportive of your LGBTQ, friends, family, and colleagues. The HRC Corporate Equality Index: Designed to help you learn more about where your company stands when it comes to equality. Sitting at home on the internet is the tip of the ally iceberg. If you really want to get involved in the cause it’s important to get out there and active in your community. With Stonewall season approaching it’s easy to find LGBT events near you that welcome allies. Let the LGBT community know that you stand with them because your presence at events is a significant show of solidarity and support. Joining the conversation and listening to the experiences of the people you meet will undoubtedly broaden your understanding of what is means to be an ally and better your awareness of how to help to achieve equality for all. 5. Stand up for what you believe in Still I think guides, texts, and collections like this are really great to have because no matter where you are in your understanding of privilege and being an ally it is great that awareness is there; and that you are trying to work on being a more informed and active member in fighting against white supremacy, while also learning how to do that without talking over people of color and the other voices you are trying to stand with. So overall I think this is a nice place to start but those who are wanting a more nuanced and layered text may want to look somewhere else.

Learning about the experiences and history of LGBTQ+ people shouldn’t stop after June, which is why we wanted to share an updated list of resources to help us all learn how to be the best allies we can be! First, a brief history of Pride Test Prep Insight's College Guide and Resources For LGBTQ Students: This guide covers all aspects of college life for LGBTQ students, including common challenges, tips for integrating into campus life, and perhaps most importantly, guidance from experts on navigating college relationships. Round and Round We Go" by Kayla Whaley- Some interesting commentary on living in this world with a disability. Full disclosure: I contributed an essay to this anthology. My review is based off a physical ARC of the US version that I received as a result of my participation. Do not participate for the gold medal in the “Oppression Olympics” (you don’t need to compare how your struggle is “just as bad as” a marginalized person’s)You may have noticed it’s easier to handle being corrected about something you didn’t know if you’re grateful for and even open to the opportunity to learn rather than embarrassed to have been wrong. Being able to let go of your ego is an incredibly important skill to develop. In contrast to microaggressions, microaffirmations are little ways that you can affirm someone’s identity; recognize and validate their experience and expertise; build confidence; develop trust; foster belonging; and support someone in their career. Microaffirmations can help mitigate and disrupt the harmful effects of historical oppression, systemic inequity, cultural marginalization and personal biases. And there are many opportunities in every workplace to listen, learn, and take action as allies. It’s truly something anyone can do. In May 2015, Andrew Grill was a Global Managing Partner at IBM and a speaker at the Online Influence Conference. He was on a panel along with five other men when a female member of the audience posed the obvious question to the all-male lineup: “Where are the women?”

Being an ally is not an easy thing for everyone to do and it is not something that you can just stand there and say “I’m an ally for race equality”. It’s about taking serious action and putting some real energy into those actions. You could begin with doing something as easy as reading a glossary of terms and teaching yourself the right language to use when talking with LGBT+ people. It’s a tiny but crucial step you can take to educate yourself and make sure you are using the terminology to be respectful to everyone around you, and help yourself to feel more confident when discussing LGBT+ issues. 2. Educate yourself on the history of LGBT activismWe have been rescuing ourselves and revolting against the oppressor throughout history. Contrary to the popular belief that only great white men rescued us from slavery, it was the Haitian Revolution from 1791 to 1804, the only successful slave revolt in history, that instigated the global abolishment of slavery. I appreciated the fact that one of the first pieces emphasized that it’s ok “start small” - that being an ally doesn’t mean you HAVE to attend large rallies or protests or completely change up your routine. It is more about noticing the little things you can do in your everyday life to be there for others. Another piece talked about how being an ally sometimes means *not* doing something - not speaking for others. Instead, it’s about giving people the space to share their experiences. Their stories. Investigate and read publications, podcasts, or social media by and about underrepresented groups within your industry. When someone proposes a good idea, repeat it and give them credit. For example: “I agree with Helen’s recommendation for improving our net promoter score.”