How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

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Make a list to help kids stay on task and not get distracted (190). Draw pictures on the list for those who can’t read. If you’ve read this book, I’d love to know which of the suggestions or tips really worked for you. Please comment below Links Mentioned in the Podcast: Chapter 3 Tools for Resolving Conflict … Avoiding Combat on the Home Front-Replacing punishment with more peaceful, effective solutions 85

I also liked how the author points out that children are human and are often given commands all day long. The flesh does not like to be commanded all the time, and although I believe children need to learn to obey a parent’s commands, sometimes being playful can make giving a command much more fun.The younger the child, the shorter and simpler your directives should be. Consider your child’s level of understanding. For example, a common error parents make is asking a three-year-old, “Why did you do that?” Most adults can’t always answer that question about their behavior. Try instead, “Let’s talk about what you did.” 13. When You Talk to Kids, Speak Socially Correct It is kind of stunning how much our kids really do want to emulate us. And how much they focus on our overall strategy. It’s a tired old phrase but true: children will do as you do, not as you say.” Don’t bullshit them when you don’t know something; encourage them to ask friends or family who might have a better answer. Documenting considerations, writing things down is sometimes viewed as a liability. In reality, writing things down will help shift your mind off of the consideration and make space for other matters. In negotiations, repeating what your counterparty has just said is a powerful mirroring technique. With a child, writing considerations down = problem solving and it works to calm them. billion stars. I love this book. I’ve read a lot of parenting books, and this is right up there with the most useful of them (probably first equal with Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting). Lots of the experts I’ve read pay homage to the How to Talk principles, but none explain it as clearly as this, with useful anecdotes and chapter summaries.

The louder your child yells, the softer you respond. Let your child ventilate while you interject timely comments: “I understand” or “Can I help?” Sometimes just having a caring listener available will wind down the tantrum. If you come in at his level, you have two tantrums to deal with. Be the adult for him. 17. Settle the Listener Getting a consequence and a punishment….the child is still getting pain in the hope of changing their behaviour. One thing I realized from reading this book is how many commands we issue to our son on a daily basis. As an experiment, I tried not using a single command for a day or two. I slipped up here and there, but overall I found that it really encouraged new, more respectful ways for me to communicate with my son. And what I learned is this: Commands don't work! Use descriptions rather than declarations. Instead of saying, “You better not throw that water on the floor,” try “I see a lot of water on the floor.”

Replace punishment with more peaceful solutions. The only consequences that you can really manage are logical ones which are subjective. Logic, math are human constructs. Punitive consequences aren’t viable in the working world because employees have choice.